Super Epic WoW Tale
by Lqfox
Summary: An idea I had to institute versions of myself and various friends into WoW as characters. Inspired by car rides talking about WoW. Epic! Also published under my DA name here http://liquid-foxicus./art/An-Epic-WoW-Tale-Chapter-1-105027874
1. Chapter 1

An Epic WoW Tale

Chapter 1

Back in the day, the rebirth of video games after the great fall following the "golden age," games were something else. There were about four buttons total plus the addition of a directional pad. You made your little mass of squares hop around the screen, squish things, ride a bike, shoot a little square gun, what have you, but eventually, just like other forms of technology they got better. The little man made of squares transformed into a taller man made of rectangles, then a man made of three dimensional blocks. Soon games were garnering in graphics, storylines, strategy, camera angles, creativity by creation, multiplayer, developers taking feedback, the integration of webcams and microphones until finally all of the world of gaming reached a height so interactive some players who were caught too deep ended up paying more than just money. It got to a point that some players, the unlucky bastards that they turned themselves into, were unable to pull themselves away from the game. Their lives were meaningless minus the gaming experience. In fact, the only reason some kept jobs were to pay the monthly fee required of the game to play. An even more determined few found ways to use the game to make revenue enough to fuel the subscription, eliminating the need to ever leave the house, apartment, or in some cases, tents. Food was shipped in by entrepreneurial businesses looking to capitalize on the poor saps. Places like pizza delivery, fast food, sub shops, the usual brand of mildly healthy services would set up websites offering menu like forms to fill out, granting the luxury of nourishment with a minimal of outside contact or distance from the gameworld. Seeing as how certain games allowed the use of add ons that integrate themselves into the program itself, these businesses would hire programmers to add their forms to the game, letting hungry users order during battle if they so chose. This was the state games had come to, and more importantly this was the trend of those who played these games. It wasn't uncommon for players to get hooked, and once hooked leave their old lives behind. The governments around the world tried to halt this dangerous trend, but ultimately found nothing illegal about it, thus letting the games thrive. Sure, some countries banned it strictly on the basis of being totalitarian, but the nations that birthed the games flourished. It was just after I heard on the nightly news China had joined the ranks of banning that my phone rang, making me get up off my ass to answer it.

"Yeah, this is Zac, what's going on?"

"Hey man what's up? You wanna go hit Target or something after a bit? I'd kinda rather not wait in line myself you know what I mean?"  
"… Skauge what in the world are you waiting in line for? Some kind of porn star meet?"

"Ha ha ha ha very funny," he blandly stated, "naw I just heard from a buddy in WoW that the new expansion pack comes out earlier than it was supposed to. Thought I'd go over there and pick it up, you know, get a jump on my character. FOR THE GLORY OF NORGE WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know what I mean? Can't let those stupid other people get all the new ore they're gonna have, did you see the new ore they have by the way? It looks awesome, oh man you can make so much stuff out of it now, did you know you can make armor for your mount? Oh man, it's going to be so awesome."  
"Uh.. uh huh. Perpetuating the never ending greed stereotype of your dwarf are we?"  
"Yeah something like that. So you want me to pick you up or what? C'mon man I'll buy you food or something."  
"Yeah fine fine. But I swear if you try and get me into that damn game again, it's on your head, we straight? I'm done with that thing."  
"Ha ha, yeah yeah, but really, you should come back! I need another meat sheil- I mean 'adventurer' to go with me and my buddy. You don't see a lot of hunters around much anymore, I guess everyone just finally realized how much balls they suck."

"This really makes me not think your case is too great man."

"Yeah… about that. Anyway, I'll come pick you up okay?"

"Sure, lemme know when you get here then. I'll come meet you in the parking lot."

Damn Skauge, this was payback, I could just tell. Back when the game was relatively unpopular, I only knew one person that played and he was responsible for getting me to play. World of Warcraft. Huh, more like crack. Just like the players had come to know it now, World of Warcrack. Regardless, I seem to have this tendency, no, rather a habit/talent of spreading things I like similar to a plague. I really should've been a salesman. Anyway, after I had started I realized playing a massively multiplayer game by myself was not doing it for me. No, I needed others to go with me. Knowing both my skills for convincing as well as Skauge's susceptibility to peer pressure and cool things, I had to try. On that fateful day, he came over with our other friend and so it began. I cleverly had the game already running so that when they showed up it looked as though by chance I was playing. "What's that?" was of course the obvious first question they asked. I stated it coolly and calmly, "What? Oh this? This is a new game I picked up, you wanna try it out?" Heh heh. The seeds of addiction had been planted. Within minutes the wave of "new game" euphoria swept over the two of them, causing it to envelope their attentions for the rest of the stay. Eventually of course they had to go home, about an hour away, but the damage was done. For the next week the thought of playing the game brewed, took over random thoughts, fed the idea of possibility of online fun. Ultimately all three of us played, Skauge catching up faster than expected due to the intensity of the developing addiction. However after a couple years I lost interest in the game, choosing to do other things with my time. Even James, the other friend, quit after a few months. But Skauge kept playing, kept finding new items, new armor, new gear, all of the same things a gambler looks for; the thrill of what random reward may come next. He kept playing through my hiatus, telling me all the new things they'd come out with, but even with all the additions, it never really was enough to lure me back for longer than a day or two. That is, until the first expansion pack. This gem heralded in a new age for the game, expanding it greatly, sticking in new territories, creatures, items, adventure! It was too much for me, I had to come back for a little while at least.

Apparently the developers had adjusted the game to be easier for the "casual players", the ones who weren't yet glued. This was a sinkhole in disguise. Once you grabbed the first easy item, you knew there would be more, and then more would follow that one. Websites would proclaim the items not yet implemented, but promised were coming soon, adding more and more excitement. Somehow, someway, I was able to pull myself back from this electronic pit of quicksand, back to the real world, back to the people in my world. Skauge, being the type of more dedicated player he was, attained much in a shorter period of time, letting him get bored with it. This boredom was all that kept him from being completely immersed, in a sense saving him from the fate of what others were succumbing to; the type of fate that made the game illegal in other countries. But now, now there was this new expansion pack coming out. This one promised to be immersive in a way no other game could and because of this promise had the entire gaming community on edge. Governments were said to be silently watching as well, looking for the one solid thing they could nail the developers for to put a stop to all this. Governments want happy workers, but more importantly they want people working in the first place. With the advent of the in-game profit, there was nothing to contribute to the economy and this made for some very angry politicians. But even more important than that was my self decision not to be involved with that damn game ever again. I swore to myself the second Skauge started talking about all the "great new features" I was going deck him or something, I wasn't sure yet. In any case the buzzing of my phone on the desk jarred me back to life from my thoughts.

"Hey you comin' out here or what?!"

"You outside?"  
"Hell yeah man!"  
"Alright, I'm coming down."

I tossed on my shoes, hit the power for the tv and shuffled out of my dorm room, locking it behind me. I did start wondering on my way to the car just what was going to make this game that much more incredible than any other. The company that made it had been very tight lipped, just like they always were.

Skauge's white car was whirring with more odd noises than usual in the parking lot. Upon seeing me it thumped, then backed up with a start, nearly hitting the car behind it, and finally drove over the boulevard between the lot and a service road by the sidewalk I was on, pulling up next to me. I could hear the muffled blaring noises of classic rock plus someone singing along inside.

"CAAAATZ IN THE CRADLE WITH THE SILVER SPOOOOON. LIIITTTLLGGGELLE BOY BLLLAAAUUUEEWW NNN THE MAN IN DA MOOOOON."

I gave the straight browed look I usually give in this situation and pulled open the door, trying to find some space for my feet amongst all the empty Gatorade bottles and sort of empty McDonald's bags.

"Can you turn it down a bit?"

"…COOOWWMIN HOME SAAAN I DUNN KNOW WHEN, BUT HEY, WEEEELLL GET TAGETHAH THEEEEEN!"

The car's bald tires squealed as he hit the gas, sending us shooting down the little service road back to the parking lot, specifically the part where it actually attached.

"CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN A BIT THERE?"

"What? Turn it down? Why didn't you say so," he asked, prodding the radio's volume button, "I love that song. Only classic rock song I like anymore after that CRAP station Fox whatever killed all the damn rest of them."

"Yeah I hear ya. I bet you still have that station all day at work in secret though."

"No way in hell. No way in hell!" He shouted, waving his arms around, gesturing at some poor pedestrian in his way.

"Well anyway, when does the new pack come out again?"

"Ace says it's tonight, hell if I know though. If not, whatever, I'll just go home and play more WoW anyway."  
"Yeah I suppose. I bet there'll be a pretty big line though, due to all the hardcore gamers."  
"Don't care. I'm getting my fucking game! You should seriously consider checking it out, s'pose to be pretty good."

"How would you know? Company didn't even say anything solid about it yet."

"… … Hey I know all! I know all!" He said, waving his arms once more.

"I dunno. I really would rather not get back into it, but I mean… if it's really good I mean hey…" I reasoned, my inherent excitement for new software getting the better of me.

"Yeah! Yeah! That's the spirit! I think you should play again. Ace has got something lined up he says."

"Whatever," I thought to myself, I'll give it a lookover from the box, see how I like it at the least. Classes weren't too tough this semester and I was getting tired of my other games a little anyway. On that note, I tried to just focus on not dying while riding in Skague's car the rest of the way to the store. It was tough.

Surprisingly the parking wasn't bad at all once we reached Target. One would think that with the new dawn of these proportions in gaming, the place selling it would be a bit more congested. There was the usual crowd leftover from the five o'clock rush, but other than that, no sign of computer geeks, nerds, or wannabe "hardcore gamers". I was puzzled; maybe we had bad information? We steadily made our way to the back of the store, anticipation rising as we shimmied past one after another lame and unimportant shopper. Reaching the electronics section there was still no sign of a line or anything. Glancing around I grabbed some worker,

"Hey buddy, do you know if the new expansion pack for WoW is in today?"  
"Huh? I'm not sure… thought it was supposed to come out next month?"  
"Yeah we thought so too. Can you check anyway?"  
"Yeah, whatever man."  
It seemed the workers were just as lame as the shoppers here. Oh well, as long as he went to check.

"They'd better have my fucking game or I'm gonna be pissed." Skauge mumbled, checking out some war game in the meantime.

"Ace was probably just mistaken. Didn't he think the guitar hero thing was real?"

"Yeah don't mention that. I'd like to think my WoW friends aren't crazy."

"Excuse me guys, turns out we actually do have the game. Surprised me. Here ya go." The clerk said, approaching us from the back of the store and handing us each a box. A rather large box to be exact. It was about the size of the old collector's edition boxes, big enough to fit the art books they included inside. But this wasn't a collector's edition. This was standard fare, nothing special about it apart from it probably being an orgasm in a box for many people. It was themed black with several reliefs sticking out in the shapes of lions and swords on the front. I flipped it over in my hands and read the back to see what this was all about.

"Experience something gamers have dreamed about but never been able to do. Experience the adventure of putting yourself in the eyes of your character. For the first time Blizzard Entertainment lets you become your character using a newly developed form of virtual reality in your own home!"

Virtual reality? This is nothing new, but I suppose for a game like this it could be something revolutionary now that I think about it.

"DUDE! There's VR glasses in here!" My friend loudly exclaimed as he too read the back of the box. I had to admit, this was grabbing my interest. Looking further down the back, it seemed they showed the glasses in a picture. They resembled great big ski goggles with oversized headphones connected on either side. Wireless apparently as well.

"Man, I have to go home and try this. You buying one at all?" I was asked, having to consider for a minute.

"Well.. I shouldn't, but… damn I think I'm gonna have to."

"Hell yeah man! Lets DO THIS!" Skauge shouted, beeline'ing it to the front of the store, not exactly running, but going about the same speed while walking. As I tried to keep up with him and pay half attention to his jabbering rambles about how much this was going to kick ass, I went over the back some more, looking for any bits of information I could've missed. "VR Experience not rated by the ESRB" it said in small print. "What in the…? Why would the ESRB even be considered to rate something like that? It shouldn't change the game itself, just the way you play it." I mumbled to myself, dodging some random scooter man rolling down the hall. The cashiers paid no attention to what we were buying, instead choosing to paste on their famous Target plastic smiles and feigning empathy for our shopping needs. Whatever, we didn't care, we just wanted to get back and try this out.

One death defying car ride later, I was back in my dorm, hooking up the new gear and waiting for the inevitable phone call I'd probably be getting soon telling me how much this was going to "rock". Sure enough, not ten minutes later, my phone rang, Skauge on the other end just finishing logging on.

"Ok so I'll meet you in there then?" he asked.

"Yeah, I've having some driver issues here though, it'll be a minute or two yet for me."  
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Time for the almighty Norge to reign loot and treas-" was what replied. His voice suddenly just tapered off in midsentence gloat.  
"Ay, Skauge, you there man?" I checked my phone for a dropped call, but no, it was still working fine, call timer ticking along. "AY. SKAUGE. WHAT THE HECK. ANSWER." Still nothing. "… Asshole." I mumbled. He probably was too distracted by the whole experience of virtual reality to hold down a conversation at the same time. I'd be in a bit and I figured I'd just talk to him then. With that thought and a final computer reboot of Seraphim, my trusty desktop, I threw on the ski glasses and hopped into the game. I saw the usual loading screen with the usual username input and the usual music and did what it was that I –usually- do; that is, log in. So far I wasn't impressed. It all looked the same as before, just closer up and more in my face. "What a rip, I could've just sat closer to the screen if I had wanted thi-" At once the goggles' screens flashed a brilliant white light that because of their architecture was able to envelop my entire view. I got the sudden feeling that I was floating and the before mentioned single light transformed into many a small light, dancing around the screen in various patterns. I could feel my eyes dilating as I started losing consciousness and couldn't help but slump back into my suede office chair. The bright light dimmed to a darkening transition of fainting as I could hold onto my lucidity no more. The last thing I could remember was hearing the sounds of waterfalls and shimmering twinkles.


	2. Chapter 2

An Epic WoW Tale

Chapter 2

"Augh… my head…" I let out, wrapping some fingers around my forehead. It felt like I had passed out. Come to think of it, I –had- passed out and was now in the middle of the street. Where was I? I was suddenly having an extremely tough time remembering. Glancing around, I noticed that for whatever reason, I obviously was in the middle of said street, surrounded on either side by sections of a larger pond. "Oh of course! I made the trip to Darnassus from Ironforge last night. But.. how the hell did I wind up passed out?"

"Excuse me sir, are you alright? Would you like some of the bread I'm selling?" A voice from behind me said. I craned my neck around to find myself looking up at a very attractive looking Night Elf woman. "Oh, no I'm fine thank you. But I wouldn't mind a loaf."

"Of course, that'll be thirty-five silver please." She informed me, rummaging through her satchel as I stood up. Once I finally got to my feet, my taller seven foot stature seemed to turn the viewing tables, letting her be the one to look up this time.

"Thank you, I could use a bite right about now hehe." I muttered dumbly, handing her the coin. As I took my first bite from the fresh crust, I gave her the once over while she deposited the money to her pocket. She was shorter than me, not by much, and she wore an average looking brown robe, the kind that scratches as one walks. Her hair was of trademark Night Elf diversity, namely a dark blue, matching the vertical markings on her cheeks. "I don't think I've ever come across a Darnassian girl I didn't like the look of." I thought out loud.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." She asked following my now suddenly realized blunder.

"Huh? Oh um! Nothing! Nothing!" I tried my best to cover up with the infamous male chuckle that clearly says to any girl we are –definitely- not hiding anything.

"Mhmm… well I'd best be making my rounds. Nice talking to you." And with that she trotted off down the path, eager to find more customers. "Very smooth Tyr," I told myself, "I'm sure you'll get ALL the ladies that way."

As I made my way around the glistening waterways of Darnassus, the elves' capital city, I munched my bread and tried my best to remember just what it was I had been trying to do lately. After I woke up, I had realized I made a trip back from Ironforge but for what? There certainly wasn't anything especially important going on here. Maybe someone I needed to talk to? No, that wasn't it. Did I need to come back for training? Of course not, I knew more than the leatherworker here. This was starting to really bother me. I kept walking along, hoping to recover some sort of memory when suddenly it was apparent I was in earshot of the bank. Some poor fool was yelling his head off in front of it to be exact. Curious, I decided to wander over.

"We are calling all adventurers! I repeat, we are calling all adventurers! The Outland Expeditionary Force is now actively recruiting –cough-, as well as simply hiring, all those able bodied –cough- and steel nerved folk seeking adventure and fortune! The gate has been opened, sign up now and claim your stake in history!"

"The gate has been opened?" I thought, "what in the hell is he talking about?" As I stood there, slightly more intrigued than before, I overheard two others near me discussing him.

"I can't believe he's still doing this."

"I know, he's not going to get much help around here. Most of the warrior types are either in Tyrande's service or out somewhere else. I don't know what it is he expects to find leftover."

"Hmm. That added to the fact that he's been out here for the past few days, practically non stop trying to campaign for this lucrative idea." Alright, now I wanted some answers. I may not have a clue why I was in Darnassus, but now that I was, any information on ANYTHING would certainly help me out.

"Excuse me, but what exactly is this campaign you seem to be going on about?" I queried of the man. The man, an older human, let out a hacking, coarse cough, tried his best to clear his throat, and looked me straight in the eye.

"This 'campaign', elf, is none other than Stormwind's own glorious expedition into the unknown. The dark portal has been opened once more and demons are spilling out. Surely you are aware of this? Hell, all of Azeroth knows about it!" He growled at me.

"I, well, I guess not offha-" I was cut off mid-sentence by the tough crier.

"Whaddya mean you "guess" not?!" He fumed, "'s possible the end of the world's here and you're not even knowing about it huh? Well let me clue you in my friend. As I said, the portal's opened. Oh aye, it's open. Demons have been pouring out left and right, only pausing for brief hours while I'm sure they work up another force of hell to throw at us. In those pauses, we've sent our own forces in, trying to –cough- get some sort of idea of what's in that terrible place. Only a few scouts and such have –cough- made their way back. They need reinforcements elf. They're dyin' in there. Are you going to say you're too good to go give 'em a hand?"

"Now that's not what I-"

"Of course you're not! Here, take this badge and get to the dark portal as soon as you can. Let 'em know we're not strandin' them in there!" He shouted at me, shoving a badge into my hand. It seemed as though I now had the option to traverse worlds if I was willing to, thanks to this loudmouth foreigner. He sort of shuffled me out of his way and continued on his quest for more recruits, shouting and yelling more while he did it of course. Well, now that I started thinking about it, maybe this was the sort of thing I could do. Surely there'd be hardships there of course, but there'd also be great chances for unseen treasures. I wasn't about to go alone however, and if treasure was involved, there was one person I know more than any other that would be interested. Conveniently next to the bank, which was built into the trunk of a large tree, was the local post box. I made my way there and, taking a slip of parchment from the side of the box, started upon a letter to someone I'd hope would take up the challenge with me. Oh who was I kidding, he'd go with if I promised so much as a few chances for gold.

After sending the letter, I thought perhaps I'd best take a break at one of the inns around town and once more try to recollect. Shaylar's Ale & Tap was a welcome sight. This was the place I had visited during my earlier years on my excursions to the capitol; as fine a tavern as any in town. If there were any adventurers left in this city, they'd be here. Walking in, I noticed the usual barmaids, cute as ever, as well as a few unsavory folk holed up in the corners as well as belly up at the bar. Not as busy as usual but hey, I wasn't complaining. As soon as I had sat down, one of the barmaids came out to take my order, nearly dropped the rag she was wiping her hands with, and her eyes lit up.

"Tyrandor! Wow, I have to say I honestly didn't think you'd survive the night!" She giggled, laughing at my expense apparently.

"Er.. I? Come again?"

She gave me a confused look, then set her features back to an understanding tone.

"I don't blame you for being a bit absent minded today, not after the night you had."

"Was I in here last night? What happened?" I asked, clearly confused.

"Oh my, well lets see," she started, pulling a seat at my table, "you rolled in here, sopping wet from one of the usual rainstorms around, eyes wide open and looking for a drink. You had told us you just made the great trek from Ironforge and were in desperate need of ale, wine, whatever it was we had in stock. You must've downed nearly half our backroom!" She laughed again as she mentioned the last part, silently counting her fingers to herself, most likely adding up either my total beverages consumed or how much I owed. Either way I was a bit frightened of the answer.

"Was I alone when I came in? How'd I leave?"

"Well as far as leaving, you were trying to assure us you were well enough to walk, though it was surely in debate. As for coming in… I seem to recall you were alone but I could be wrong now that I think about it. I didn't pay much too attention at first. We had the usual rush about the time you rolled in." Great. So now one of my favorite taverns thinks I'm a terrible drunk. I guess that'll get me a good name to come back in, but still.

"In any case, what can I get for you today? Going to try for a repeat?"

"Heh, no I think I'll go a bit lighter today. One headache a week is good enough for me. Just a mug of ale thanks."

"Suit yourself."

The young lady strode back to the bar to grab my order, and as she did a rugged looking elf about my own height and stature rolled over to the chair next to me.

"Good to see you again Tyr, how's the new bow treatin' you?" he asked, pulling the seat out the barmaid had been in.

"I, um. What? Do I know you?" I quizzically asked.

He gave me a half knit brow for a second, studying me in an odd way.

"Shalar'r? I've only been training you for the last how many years? Maybe you'd best lay off that ale for a while Tyr, I think it's killing your head."

Maybe I should considering I can't remember a damn thing today, I thought. Heck, right about now anyone that even -seems- like a bowyer could probably convince me they were one.  
"Oh uh! Right! Sorry old pal, you know how it goes with the drink and the booze and the oh no I can't see straight!"

He chuckled to himself as I said this, letting the returning girl know he'd like the same order as myself. He half cocked his eyebrow again and looked back at me.

"How long're you back in town for again? Think you're quick enough for another lesson or two?"  
"I dunno about the lesson...," I couldn't honestly say I needed another, but maybe it was just due to me not being ready again just yet, "but as far as my staying here, I'm due to ship out back to bulky Ironforge before the night's through."

"What?! Rumor is you just got back last night! What in the world would compel you to head straight back again so soon?" He exclaimed, his eyes fully open, dangerously close to popping out and attacking me.

"Well to be honest there Sha.. Sha..na..nana.. er, Shananklajalarr," I mumbled most of what was trying to sound like his name under my breath, "I really don't remember much of anything right now, particularly why I even came back. The one thing I -do- know at this moment is I've got an opportunity to travel to another world, and one of the only people I know who'd accompany me is, I assume, squatting in Ironforge. Most likely on a barstool."

His eyes mellowed out and he laid a sobering look on me. "Tyr, you've been a good bowman for as long as I've had the honor to teach you. But don't think for a second this 'Outland' is going to be anything like our world. I've heard the tales that roll in to our capitol and they're nothing to be taking lightly you hear me? That portal was opened who knows how many eons ago and the Alliance tried sending in forces then too. Know what happened? Ten gold says you already know the answer. The ones still on that side of the portal have all the luck of Elune to not have perished yet, but at the same time how lucky can they be? They got stuck over there on that first wave to begin with. Don't go through with this just because some crazy human tossed you a piece of metal you got me? You're a strong one, but I'd hate to see you and your friend die before it's time."

What a fantastic send off from someone who allegedly is my friend. He did make sense though, there's no telling what the other side'll be like. But I suppose the best I'd hear otherwise are rumors aren't they? Elves live to be a fine old age and I'm not going to spend mine wishing I'd claimed glory when I had the chance, not to mention the experience.

"I'll take your advice into consideration, friend."

"Aye, you do that."

What remained of that day I spent getting prepared. I had a few items in my belt pack, but not nearly enough to venture with into the unknown. I figured I'd get what I could around Darnassus and find the rest around Ironforge. Being its size and having the background that it did, that city was the heart of trading; anything could be found if you knew where to look and who to ask. After grabbing the food I needed, some leatherworking supplies, and a few good arrows, I came back to the inn for an early rest, hopefully one that would last me to the Dwarves' capitol.


End file.
